At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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