can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
