idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
