Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
