Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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