oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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