You're so nebulous sometimes
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
