He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My ass is underappreciated
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
