The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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