i barfeds in our rink
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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