i jhust puked up my retainher.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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