I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
dude. I can hear the air.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
