It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize