Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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