i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
