So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
