Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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