mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
