Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
