I bet he comes in French.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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