I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
