so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
