I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
