Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
