They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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