I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
