Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
