Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
