Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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