we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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