Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's never too late to be topless.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
