Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
