It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
