My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
