she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I fill condoms, not promises.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
