Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
