I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
