Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
