Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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