Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
