should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
