Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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