just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
