I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
