there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
