Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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