If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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