How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
