I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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