Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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