you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
