it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
